Fucked Recipes

MovieWhore's Grocery Shopping Tips

2011-01-09T11:26:00.000-08:00

How to Get the Most from Your WIC Coupons

Stretching Your WIC Dollars to Get Even More Free Food

Thousands of women in the United States receive WIC benefits to help them get enough of certain nutrients while pregnant and breastfeeding, but do you know how to make the most out of your WIC checks each month? Try some of these tips and tricks for stretching your WIC dollars as far as they can go and get more food for free than you thought possible.

Sales

When purchasing WIC foods, look for sales that allow you to buy one and get one free. Grocery stores often run these types of sales, so you can sometimes get double the amount of food for free. Check the newspapers to see what stores in your area are offering the items that you need on a buy one get one free deal. Even if it's only on one item, you will be able to get twice as many as you normally would for nothing.

Compare Nutrients

When shopping for WIC foods, check the labels on different brands. Many times, one product will be better than another. Some cereals, for example, will be higher in vitamins than another. You should also try to go with the cereal that has the lowest amount of sugar possible. Check labels on dairy products as well. Oftentimes, cheeses will contain preservatives and other non-natural ingredients that you may want to avoid when pregnant or breastfeeding.

Buying based on nutrients is especially important when purchasing juice. You can stretch your WIC coupon to buy healthier food for you and your baby by getting juices that are higher in vitamins and minerals. Apple juice and other single-fruit juices tend to be low in nutrients and high in sugar. If you like V8 Juice, buy that instead. If you are like me and can't stand V8, cut it with ½ fruit juice to improve the taste. You can also opt to buy mixed vegetable and fruit juices such as Juicy Juice's Harvest Surprise or V8 Splash.

Buy All-Natural

Depending on your state, most WIC chapters will allow you to purchase foods that are all-natural. All-natural foods contain no toxic chemicals and no artificial colors or preservatives, so they are healthier for you and your baby. Check ingredients on the back to make sure your food is as natural as possible.

It is especially important to make sure that you choose only natural versions of peanut butter. Regular peanut butter contains partially hydrogenated vegetable oils which are very dangerous and extremely bad for you and your baby. If you don't like the natural brands, try Skippy Natural peanut butter instead. It does not separate and has the exact same consistency as regular peanut butter. You really can't tell the difference!

Freeze Excess

When buying food that is on sale in bulk or when getting foods that you do not consume much, freeze the excess to keep it from going bad. You can always use it at some point in the future and it will help save money when you need it after the baby is born.

Salmon, Not Tuna

Tuna fish contains very high levels of mercury that are not safe for you or your baby. Opt instead for canned salmon. It contains much lower levels of mercury and can be prepared the exact same way as tuna fish. Salmon is also higher in Omega 3 fatty acids and calcium. Don't remove the bones. They are good for you. If you can't stand the texture, mash the bones with a fork and mix them into the salmon.

James "Archivist" Mark's Prime Rib

2011-01-08T19:29:00.000-08:00

Works well with cheap, grocery store rib roasts, particularly those purchased at bottom tier groceries that accept Food Stamps.

1 (10 pound) prime rib roast

10 cloves garlic, minced

2 tablespoons olive oil

2 teaspoons salt

2 teaspoons ground black pepper

2 teaspoons dried thyme

Place the roast in a roasting pan with the fatty side up. In a small bowl, mix together the garlic, olive oil, salt, pepper and thyme. Spread the mixture over the fatty layer of the roast, and let the roast sit out until it is at room temperature, no longer than 1 hour.
Preheat the oven to 500 degrees F (260 degrees C).
Bake the roast for 20 minutes in the preheated oven, then reduce the temperature to 325 degrees F (165 degrees C), and continue roasting for an additional 60 to 75 minutes. The internal temperature of the roast should be at 145 degrees F (53 degrees C) for medium rare.
Allow the roast to rest for 10 or 15 minutes before carving so the meat can retain its juices.

Willow's "Raw Sewage"

2006-11-18T08:52:00.001-08:00

1 shot Blue Curacao liqueur
1 shot vodka
1 dash grenadine syrup
pineapple juice

Mix ingredients together in a cocktail shaker. Shake, strain into a highball glass, and serve.

Cappelini Katalizzatore

2006-08-28T13:49:00.000-07:00

One bottle passata (organic strained tomatos)
4 cloves garlic
1 Tablespoon freshly cracked pepper
1 tsp. sea salt
8 large fresh basil leaves, finely chopped
1 pound cappelini, or if possible, fresh angel hair pasta
4 ounces fresh goat cheese

Press garlic into a large saucepan with garlic press. Add 2 T EVOO. Saute garlic over medium heat until just browned.

Add pepper, salt, and passata. Turn down to low heat and simmer for 10 minutes. Meanwhile, cook pasta as directed.

When pasta is finished and drained, take tomato sauce off of heat and add chopped basil, stirring well. Place pasta in a large bowl, and top with goat cheese.

When goat cheese is melted, spoon tomato sauce over pasta and serve immediately. If desired, garnish with some fresh grana padano cheese.

Serves 4.

Moviewhore's Week of Ramen for One

2006-02-10T08:31:00.000-08:00

One 3 ounce package ramen noodles (whatever is on sale)

Pyrex bowl or large measuring cup

2 cups water

Utensil of choice

Put water in bowl (or measuring cup).

Heat the water in microwave on high for 3 minutes.

Remove bowl from microwave. Place noodles in hot water.

Let noodles sit in hot water for 5 minutes, stirring frequently.

After 5 minutes, add artificial flavouring packet.

Drain water into bowl using colander.

Enjoy! You're eating RAMEN, goddammit.

Variations:

Add 4-5 of those little lemon juice packets they give away at fast food restaurants, or the school cafeteria.

Add three packets of ketchup (also from cafeteria), some cut up onion and green peppers and make "Ramen Gazpacho Bachelero".

Add a can of cheap tuna, or if in a pinch, a can of jack mackerel or cat food.

When the kids are there, drain the cooked ramen, add a can of sloppy joe mix and make a traditional Sunday dinner.

On Fridays, use beer instead of water to cook the ramen, and serve with malt vinegar.

For holidays, simmer the ramen in ham glaze, and toss in some cut up pineapple.

Miyu's Tomato Flamingo Soup

2006-02-07T18:28:00.000-08:00

Minus the flamingo.

3 tbsp olive oil

1 large onion, chopped

2 garlic cloves, crushed

2 celery sticks, chopped

7 oz carrots, chopped

1 bay leaf

1 large sprig fresh thyme

1 ½ lb ripe plum or vine-ripened tomatoes, roughly chopped

½ tsp sugar

Salt and freshly ground black pepper

7 fl oz passata, or strained tomatos (eg Parmalat)

17 fl oz vegetable stock

3½ fl oz cream

splash dry sherry

French bread and butter, to serve

1. Heat the olive oil in a large saucepan and cook the onion for 5-6 minutes over a gentle heat until almost softened but not browned. Add the garlic, celery, carrots, bay leaf and thyme and cook for a further 6-7 minutes, stirring occasionally making sure the vegetables don't stick to the base of the pan.

2. Add the chopped tomatoes and sugar and season well with salt and pepper. Cook for a few minutes, then stir in the passata and vegetable stock. Bring to a simmer, cover with a lid and cook for 35-40 minutes, until all the vegetables are tender.

3. Remove the bay leaf and thyme, then blend the soup in a liquidizer or food processor. This will probably have to be done in two batches. Pour the soup into a clean saucepan, passing it through a sieve if you want it really smooth. Stir in the cream, a splash of sherry and extra seasoning if required.

4. Pour into large mugs or bowls and serve with fresh crusty buttered bread.

Soccermom 1's Long Lost Eggnog

2005-12-21T09:17:00.000-08:00

6 eggs

2 c heavy cream

1 c milk

3/4 c sugar

1/2 c rum

1/2 c brandy

1/2 c whisky

1 tb nutmeg

Separate the eggs and set the whites aside. Mix the yolks well, gradually adding the cream, milk, and sugar. Whip the egg whites until "soft peaks" form. Fold the whites into the yolk mixture. Gradually add the rum, brandy and whiskey. Let the egg nog sit, uncovered, in the refrigerator for 2 hours. Sprinkle the nutmeg over the top right before serving

Cheers!

Carnage Asada's Carne Frotado

2005-11-10T19:46:00.000-08:00

Rub:
3 T sweet paprika
3 T brown sugar
1.5 T fresh ground pepper
1 T garlic salt
1 T onion salt
1 T celery salt
1 t ground cumin
1 t dried oregano

Mix all ingredients, then rub into beef brisket, chicken or other meat as desired.
Sear in some olive oil in a cast iron grilling pan, then shove into a 300 degree oven for 35-40 minutes per pound.

Batgirl's "Eggs Not Over, But Easy"

2005-10-08T09:30:00.000-07:00

The perfect pick me up for a rainy October Saturday morning, or any time one if feeling stupid and self-destructive.

2 eggs

1 T unsalted butter

Freshly ground salt and freshly cracked pepper.

Melt butter in medium non-stick pan over medium flame. Break eggs into pan and reduce flame to low. Cook slowly until whites are set completely and yolks begin to thicken, but are not hard. Flip eggs over carefully and continue to cook for 15 seconds. Serve sprinkled with freshly cracked pepper and a pinch of salt.

Três Receitas Roubado de Catalysador

2005-09-23T06:21:00.000-07:00

Chicken Penne Portobella

"Grilled chicken, portobella mushrooms, spinach, plum tomatoes in a Dijon cream sauce".

- Heat pan w/ little oil

- When pan is hot, add 5 slices portobella mushrooms

- Then 4 slices of chicken, 5 if small.

- Add small amount of diced white onions.

- Add salt/pepper.

- Saute.

- When done, add pinch garlic, one tablespoon mustard and a squirt of white wine and stir.

- Add cream to barely cover.

- Let reduce.

- Once cream is reduced, add small handful of diced tomatoes and a handful of spinach.

- Toss w/ heated (cooked) penne noodles.

- To taste, add small amount of butter, pinch Parmesan cheese and salt/pepper if needed.

- Add parsley/basil.

Chourico Tagliatelle

"Portuguese sausage, leeks, assorted mushrooms with tomato basil sauce."

- Heat pan w/ oil.

- Add chourico sausage.

- Small handful of mixed mushrooms, small pinch of leeks, small handful of diced onions, salt/pepper.

- Saute.

- Add pinch garlic, splash wine, 6 ounces ladle of tomato sauce.

- Add butter.

- Let reduce.

- Add hot tagliatelle noodles.

- Toss nonstop until sauce sticks to noodles.

- Add Parmesan to taste.

- Add basil/parsley.

Seafood Linguine

"4 tiger shrimp, calamari, scallops, mussels with tomato basil sauce."

- Hot pan with oil.

- In bowl, add 4/5 mussels, 4 peeled shrimp, 4 scallops, 2 pieces of sliced calamari and small amount of white onion.

- Add bowl to very hot pan.

- Saute.

- Salt/pepper to taste.

- Squirt lemon, punch garlic, squirt white wine, 2 ounce ladle of bisque, half large ladle of tomato sauce, butter, touch of cream.

- Cover w/ another pan to steam mussels.

- After 3 minutes, stir.

- Add herbs - parsley, basil, cilantro.

- Add linguine noodles.

- Toss until all sauce sticks to noodles.

clamtard's Cicada-Cheese Wontons

2005-09-21T10:53:00.000-07:00

"Mascara, you have serious psychological problems."

6 ounces cream cheese

30 freshly boiled cicadas, drained

1 pkg. wonton wrappers

Drop approximately 1 tablespoon cream cheese on top of each wonton wrapper.
Place one cicada on top of cream cheese.
Fold corners in and seal with egg white.
Fry in hot oil until crispy and brown. Serve with Sweet and Sour Sauce.
If Canadian, serve drowned in poutine.

Letts' THIGH HIGH BOOTS Dessert

2005-09-20T15:13:00.000-07:00

"here's my butter cake recipe!"

Cake:
1 box yellow cake mix
1 egg
1/2 cup (1 stick) butter, melted

Filling
1 (8-ounce) package cream cheese, softened
2 eggs
1 teaspoon pure vanilla extract
1 (16-ounce) box confectioners' sugar

Preheat oven to 350 degrees. Lightly grease a 13x9x2-inch baking pan with butter.

In the bowl of an electric mixer, combine cake mix, egg, and butter and mix well. Pat into the bottom of pan and set aside.

Beat cream cheese until smooth; add eggs and vanilla. Dump in confectioners' sugar and beat well. Reduce speed of mixer and slowly pour in butter. Mix well.

Pour filling onto cake mixture and spread evenly. Bake for 40 to 50 minutes until light brown.

Remove from oven and allow to cool completely.

gnorac's Dark Chocolate Pie

2005-09-15T11:29:00.000-07:00

One 9 inch pie shell
2/3 cup sugar
1/3 cup cornstarch
1/2 tsp salt
4 egg yolks
3 cups milk
2 T butter, softened
1 tsp vanilla extract
2 cups dark chocolate chips
fresh whipped cream, sweetened

Bake pie shell; cool. Stir together sugar, cornstarch and salt in 2 quart saucepan. Combine egg yolks and milk in container with pouring spout. Gradually blend milk mixture into sugar mixture.

Cook over medium heat, stirring constantly, until mixture comes to a boil. Boil and stir 1 minute. Remove from heat; stir in butter and vanilla. Add 1-3/4 cups chocolate chips; stir until chips are melted and mixture is well blended. Pour into prepared pie shell; press plastic wrap onto filling. Cool. Refrigerate several hours or until chilled and firm. Garnish with whipped cream and remaining chocolate chips, if desired. 6 to 8 servings.

"You know what pie I'm talking about, the one that is so intensely chocolate you taste it hours later on your tongue".

SISB's Dalia and Vegetables with Pizza Flavoured Celery Stalks

2005-09-15T10:42:00.000-07:00

Pizza Flavoured Celery Stalks

1 tsp Italian seasoning
1 tsp garlic powder
2 T grated parmesan cheese
1/2 cup pepperoni, finely diced
1/2 tsp salt
1/4 c tomato paste
1/2 tsp chopped garlic
2 packages Kraft® cream cheese
Mix all ingredients in bowl. Trim celery and cut into 4 inch sections. Spoon chilled mixture into celery sections, and trim excess with a table knife. Chill 1 hour before serving.

Dalia (broken wheat) with Vegetables

1/2 cup dalia (broken wheat)
1 small onion, finely chopped
1 tomato, finely chopped
2 cups chopped fresh vegetables (carrots, cabbage, spinach, squash)
2 T oil
1 tsp sea salt
1/2 tsp freshly ground black pepper
1 c water
1/2 tsp cumin seeds
1 T fresh coriander leaves, chopped

Heat oil in pressure cooker, and add cumin seeds. When they begin to crackle, add onion.
When onions become translucent, add chopped tomatos. Saute for 3-4 minutes and add
chopped mixed vegetables. Saute for 5 minutes and add salt.

In a baking pan, dry roast the dalia under a broiler with a low flame, stirring frequently.
When dalia is golden brown, add it to the vegetable mixture in pressure cooker. Add pepper and mix well.
Cook until vegetables are soft but slightly crunchy. Add fresh coriander leaves.
Serve hawt.

Batgirl/serenityNow's $250 Sears Quadruple Diet Chocolate Chip Cookie Recipe

2005-09-13T08:07:00.000-07:00

A little-known FC urban legend, going back to the days when she posted as serenityNOW.
(alternately sloan, thankyoublackwidow, anon hen, salome, LisaB)

As the story goes, she ate her lunch one day in the employee break room, and purchased the cookie from one of the vending machines. At the time she was on a "no chocolate diet" and was trying to avoid it at all costs, but being that they were diet cookies was willing to cheat a little.

She promptly fell in love with the exquisite little cookies, and emailed her manager at Sears, threatening to quit without notice if he did not obtain the recipe for her. Her manager, sick and tired of her "throwing her weight" around, got the recipe for her, but decided to demand $250 for it. Desperately longing for the taste of quadruple chocolate, she posted on FC that her car had been reposessed. RealMoney then loaned her the ransom money to get the cookie, and she then posted it all over the web to passive-aggresively punish both her employer and manager.

Makes 48 medium sized cookies, or one serving

1 1/4 c unsalted butter; softened

2 c granulated sugar

2 lg eggs

2 tsp pure vanilla extract

3 c all purpose flour

3/4 c cocoa powder

1 tsp baking soda

1/2 tsp salt

2 c white chocolate chips

1 c semi-sweet chocolate chips

1 c milk chocolate chips

Directions: Preheat oven to 350. Cream together butter and sugar. Add eggsand vanilla and continue mixing until creamy. In separate bowl, combine flour, cocoa powder, baking soda, and salt. Mix well and then add to creamy mixture. Mix until thoroughly blended. Add all of the different chips and fold into batter. Drop by teaspoon onto ungreased cookie sheet. Bake for 15 minutes until golden brown.

bitterwaitress's Gnocchi Di Cacao Pungente

2005-08-26T06:40:00.000-07:00

3 lb baking potatoes, like russets

2 cup all-purpose flour

1 x extra-large egg

1 pch salt

1/4 cup grated smoked ricotta salata

1 tbl bitter cocoa

1 pch cinnamon

2 tbl sugar

1 pch salt

1/4 cup candied citrus peel chopped

1/4 cup raisins rehydrated

1/2 cup butter melted

Boil the whole potatoes until they are soft, about 45 minutes. While still warm, peel the potatoes and pass them through vegetable mill onto clean pasta board.
Make a well in the center of the potatoes and sprinkle all over with the flour, using all the flour. Place the egg and salt in the center of the well and using a fork, stir into flour and potatoes, just like making normal pasta. Once the egg is mixed in, bring dough together, kneading gently until a ball is formed. Knead gently another 4 minutes until ball is dry to the touch.
Divide the dough into 6 large balls. Roll each ball into 3/4-inch diameter ropes and cut the ropes into 1-inch long pieces. Flick the pieces off of a fork or along the concave side of a cheese grater to score the sides. Drop the dough pieces into the boiling water and cook until they float to the surface, about 1 minute.
Meanwhile, in a medium bowl, combine the ricotta, cocoa, cinnamon, sugar, and a pinch of salt and stir well.
Drain the gnocchi and place them in the bowl with the cocoa mixture. Toss to coat and remove from the bowl. Place in a clean serving bowl with the citrus peel and raisins, drizzle with the melted butter and serve immediately.

Kirk Wood's Libertarian Pork Barbecue

2005-08-26T06:09:00.000-07:00

The pork:

1 3 1/2 to 4 pound pork roast
Salt and freshly ground pepper to taste

The sauce:

1 1/2 cups distilled white vinegar
6 tablespoons ketchup
salt and freshly ground black pepper to taste
1/2 teaspoon cayenne pepper
1 tablespoon sugar
1/2 cup water

1. Preheat the oven to 500 degrees.

2. Rub the pork with salt and pepper.

3. Place the pork on a rack in a baking dish or in a skillet and put in
oven. Bake for 10 minutes.

4. Reduce the heat to 275 degrees. Bake for 5 hours, turning the meat
once an hour.

5. Shred the meat with the fork and set aside.

6. Make the sauce by combining all the ingredients in a small saucepan
and bring to a simmer. Cook, stirring, until the sugar dissolves.
Cool. It makes about 3 cups.

7. Combine with the meat and serve.

Yield: Twelve servings.

Note: The pork can also be cooked on a charcoal grill. Prepare a fire,
place the meat on a grill and sear, turning several times for about 10
minutes. Cook the meat near, but not directly over, a slow fire for
about 3 to 4 hours, or until a meat thermometer reads 185 degrees.

TribeDoktor's Oil Cured Greek Olives

2005-08-23T18:24:00.000-07:00

It is usually best to prepare Greek-style olives from mature olives that are dark-red to black. Mission olives are commonly used, but any variety will do. Use smaller olives because larger ones get soft. The olives will become shriveled since they are salt cured. These olives are salty and slightly bitter, and you may have to acquire a taste for them.

Cover the bottom of a wooden box with burlap. Weigh out 1 pound of salt for each 2 pounds of olives. Mix the salt and olives well in the box to prevent mold from developing. Pour a layer of salt over the olives to a depth of 1 inch. CAUTION Place the box outdoors so that the brine formed will not ruin the floor.

After 1 week, pour olives and salt into another box, then back into the first box to mix them. Repeat this mixing process once every 3 days until the olives are cured and edible. This usually takes about 30 to 35 days.

Sift out most of the salt through a screen. Dip the olives momentarily in boiling water. Drain. Let them dry overnight.

Add 1 pound of salt to each 10 pounds of olives. Mix and put the olives in a cool place. Use within 1 month, or store in a refrigerator or home freezer until used. Just before using, coat the olives with olive oil. Do not use oil if you plan to use the olives for cooking. To coat with oil, put them in a large pan or box and sprinkle a little olive oil over them. Work the olives with your hands to coat them with oil. This type of olive is useful for flavoring stews, tamale pie, spaghetti, and as a relish eaten out-of-hand

My Dad Your Mom's Post-Ride Lycra Appetizer

2005-08-22T08:11:00.000-07:00

20 water chestnuts, whole

1 pound bacon, uncooked

soy sauce

Cut bacon slices into halves. Wrap each water chestnut with one piece sliced bacon, securing with toothpick. Place in large baking pan.

Drizzle generously with soy sauce.

Broil until bacon is crisp and thoroughly cooked.

eric the half a bee's Southern Suicide

2005-08-22T08:08:00.000-07:00

3/4 oz Jack Daniel's Tennessee Whiskey

3/4 oz Southern Comfort

1/2 oz orange juice

1/4 oz 7-Up

1/4 oz grenadine

Mix all ingredients and serve on the rocks.

NFT's Whorishly Delicious Cranberry Chutney

2005-08-22T07:47:00.000-07:00

4 cups cranberries

2 cups sugar

3 to 4 small oranges, cut up

1/2 cup raisins

1 cup chopped, unpeeled apple

1/2 cup orange juice

1 Tablespoon vinegar

1/2 teaspoon ground ginger

1/2 teaspoon cinnamon

1/4 cup chopped walnuts

In a 5-quart saucepan, combine all the ingredients.
Simmer just until most of the cranberries pop. Keep in a covered jar in the refrigerator. It will keep several months.

News Man's Gas Generator-Baked Beans

2005-08-19T13:52:00.000-07:00

2 lbs. small white beans

1 lb. bacon, preferably thick cut, chopped in approx 1 inch pieces.

1 med. Onion minced

2 jalapeno peppers minced

¼ cup tomato paste

¼ cup molasses

¼ cup dark brown sugar

¼ tsp. cayenne pepper

1 tsp. black pepper

2 tsp. kosher salt (= 1 tsp. table salt)

Vegetable broth

Optional

3 cloves garlic minced.

1 tsp. liquid smoke

Method

The night before

1. Soak beans over night in enough water to cover the beans by at least 2 inches (about ½ gallon)

2. Preheat oven to 250 degrees. Place dutch oven over medium heat and let it heat up until handles are hot to the touch. Put bacon into the dutch oven and fry until very crisp. Take bacon out and reserve leaving rendered fat in the pan.

3. Turn heat down and add the onion and jalapenos and sweat until onion is translucent. If desired add garlic and continue to cook until garlic is fragrant.

4. Turn heat off. Add tomato paste, molasses, brown sugar, cayenne, black pepper, salt, and optionally liquid smoke. Stir to combine.

5. Add beans and bacon into the Dutch oven and stir to combine. Use leftover soaking water and broth to cover beans by an inch.

6. Place dutch oven into preheated oven for 6-8 hours, or until beans are soft and liquid has become thick and viscous.

NORTHWESTCOASTHUSTLA's Exquisite Gourmet Dinner Salad

2005-08-04T16:52:00.000-07:00

For The Very Special Occasions Only. Requires Extra Shopping and Preparation Time.

1 head Iceburg Lettuce
1 tomato
1 carrot, shredded
2 garlic croutons. generic if possible.

I jar Marie's® Blue Cheese Dressing

Chop lettuce into wedges. Cut tomato into several slices.
Arrange on plate, garnished with carrot slivers.
Top with generic croutons.

Serve swimming in dressing. And I do mean swimming.
Inspired by Perko's Coffee Cup, Denny's and a handful of Amerika's best eateries.

usul's Southwestern Lime Chicken with Ancho Chili Sauce

2005-08-02T11:58:00.000-07:00

TEH CHICKEN:
Ingredients:
1/2 cup fresh lime juice
6 tablespoons soy sauce
1/4 cup vegetable oil
2 tablespoons sugar
2 tablespoons chopped fresh oregano
1 tablespoon chopped fresh rosemary
1 tablespoon minced garlic
1 1/2 teaspoons chili powder
1/2 teaspoon cayenne pepper
8 skinless boneless chicken breast halves
8 slices Monterey Jack cheese
Ancho Chili Sauce

Preparation:
Combine first 9 ingredients in medium bowl; whisk to blend. Place chicken in 13 x 9 x 2-inch glass baking dish. Pour marinade over. Cover and refrigerate overnight, turning occasionally.
Prepare barbecue (medium-high heat). Remove chicken breasts from marinade. Grill chicken until just cooked through, turning occasionally, about 10 minutes. Place 1 cheese slice atop each chicken breast half; cover barbecue and cook until cheese melts, about 2 minutes. Transfer chicken breasts to plates. Serve with Ancho Chili Sauce.

ANCHO CHILI SAUCE
Ingredients:
3 dried ancho chilies, stemmed, seeded, torn into pieces
2 tablespoons fresh lime juice
1/2 cup mayonnaise
2 tablespoons (packed) brown sugar
1 tablespoon chopped fresh oregano
1 teaspoon chopped fresh rosemary
1/2 teaspoon ground cumin

Preparation:
Place chilies in medium metal bowl. Pour enough boiling water over chilies to cover. Let stand until chilies are soft, about 30 minutes. Drain, reserving 1/2 cup soaking liquid.
Puree chilies, 3 tablespoons soaking liquid and lime juice in blender until smooth. Transfer to small bowl. Whisk in mayonnaise, brown sugar, oregano, rosemary and cumin. Season to taste with salt and pepper. (Can be prepared 3 days ahead. Cover and refrigerate. Bring to room temperature before using, adding water by tablespoonfuls and stirring if very thick.)

JaneDOh's Fresh Fig Tart with Rosemary Cornmeal Crust and Lemon Mascarpone Cream

2005-08-02T10:34:00.001-07:00

For crust:
1 1/2 cups all-purpose flour
1/2 cup yellow cornmeal (not stone-ground)
1 tablespoon sugar
1/4 teaspoon salt
1 stick (1/2 cup) cold unsalted butter, cut into pieces
1 1/2 tablespoons finely chopped fresh rosemary
4 to 5 tablespoons ice water
For filling
1/3 cup sour cream
1 cup mascarpone cheese (8 oz)
1/4 cup sugar
1 1/2 teaspoons finely grated fresh lemon zest
1/8 teaspoon salt
2 tablespoons red-currant jelly
1 tablespoon honey
1 1/2 lb fresh figs

Special equipment: an 11 1/4- by 8- by 1-inch rectangular or 10-inch round fluted tart pan (1 inch deep) with a removable bottom

Make crust:
Pulse together flour, cornmeal, sugar, and salt in a food processor. Add butter and rosemary and pulse until mixture resembles coarse meal with some small (roughly pea-size) butter lumps. Drizzle evenly with 4 tablespoons ice water and pulse until just incorporated.
Gently squeeze a small handful: If it doesn't hold together, add more water, 1/2 tablespoon at a time, pulsing after each addition and continuing to test.

Press dough evenly onto bottom and up sides of tart pan with floured fingers. Smooth dough with a small offset metal spatula or back of a spoon (floured if necessary), then roll a rolling pin over top of pan to trim dough flush with rim. Chill crust until firm, about 30 minutes.

Preheat oven to 400°F.

Bake crust in middle of oven until center and edges are golden, 25 to 30 minutes (don't worry if bottom of crust cracks), then cool in pan on a rack.

Prepare filling and assemble tart:
Whisk together sour cream, mascarpone, sugar, zest, and salt in a bowl.

Heat jelly and honey in a small saucepan over moderately low heat, whisking, until jelly is melted, about 4 minutes, then cool glaze slightly.

Remove side of tart pan and spread mascarpone cream in shell. Cut figs lengthwise into 1/4-inch-thick slices and arrange decoratively over cream. Brush figs with honey glaze.

Cooks' notes:
• Crust can be made 1 day ahead and kept, covered, at room temperature.
• Mascarpone mixture can be made 1 day ahead and chilled, covered.
• Tart can be assembled 1 hour ahead and kept, loosely covered, at room temperature.

heather chandler's White Kugel Pudding

2005-08-01T08:12:00.000-07:00

6 large potatoes, washed and peeled

1 large onion, peeled and halved

2-3 large eggs

1/4 cup olive oil

1/2 cup all-purpose flour

1 tsp. baking powder

1 tsp. salt

1/2 tsp. chopped garlic

3/4 tsp. freshly ground black pepper

1 tsp. paprika, split in two

Preheat oven to 400 °F. Either grate the potatoes and onion by hand or put the potatoes and onion in the bowl of a food processor and process until coarsely chopped. Add eggs, 3 T. oil, and remaining ingredients (except for 1/2 tsp. paprika and one tablespoon of oil). Process or mix by hand only until smooth; don't overdo it. Pour into a 2 quart casserole, sprayed with vegetable oil spray or rubbed with oil. Sprinkle with remaining oil and paprika. Bake for 45 minutes or until puffed and brown. Serve with brisket, roast chicken, or roast veal. Potato kugel can be eaten at room temperature with cold meats, but it is much tastier if slightly warm or hot. Serves 8-10.

smalljapanesepenis's LimeAid Pie

2005-07-31T14:34:00.000-07:00

I will post the original undedited recipe straight from the thread, as it is almost as funny as the recipe.

"this is for an easy dessert that's good and fatening and stuff

take one graham cracker pie crust
one frozen can of limeaide
one big tub of cool whip
one can of condensed milk

mix the coolwhip, the frozen limeade and condensed milk in a bowl

then spoon out the mixture into your pie crust

freeze it for a day

eat it."

krunk's Ass Cakes

2005-07-31T13:38:00.000-07:00

2 cups ground pork butt

1 onion, finely chopped

1 (10 ounce) package chopped frozen broccoli, thawed and drained

3 eggs, beaten

2 teaspoons anise seed

2 teaspoons dried basil

3 cloves garlic, minced

1 teaspoon salt

2 teaspoons ground black pepper

3/4 cup cornmeal

1/2 cup grated Asiago cheese

2 tablespoons olive oil

In a large bowl combine the ground ham, onion, broccoli and egg beat. Mix with hands for 1 full minute, or until egg beat is evenly absorbed into meat.

Sprinkle anise seed, basil, garlic, salt, pepper, cornmeal and cheese over meat mixture and mix again with hands for 1 full minute, until all ingredients are evenly distributed.

Heat oil in a large skillet over medium heat. Scoop about 3 ounces of ham mixture into hands and form patties about 1/2 inch thick. Lay patties in skillet and cook for 3 to 5 minutes each side, or until browned. Drain on paper towels. Repeat until all of the mixture has been used, then serve hot.

Jafafa Hot's Fresh Squeezed Lemonade

2005-07-31T13:11:00.000-07:00

12-15 lemons

caster or superfine sugar

spring water

ice

With a juicer, extract the juice from all the lemons, removing the seeds but leaving the pulp
Put in a large pitcher, and add 12 ice cubes, filling to the top with spring water.
Add superfine sugar to taste. Garnish with pieces of lemon peel, cut into large pieces, or
fresh peppermint leaves.

Ahhfuk's™ Chicken Sunshine Sandwich™

2005-07-20T21:06:00.000-07:00

Ok, here goes. The Sunshine Chicken Sandwich.

Ingredients:
Chicken breast (one per serving) Boneless, Skinless & trimmed of all fat.

2 teaspoons garlic

1 small onion diced

2 tablespoons olive oil

1 tablespoon canola mayonnaise

A dash of grey salt

fresh ground pepper

1 Diced Roma tomato

shredded lettuce

Whole wheat, or other "hearty bread"

1/4 tsp lemon basil

1/4 teaspoon dried parsley

1/4 cup water

1/2 tblspn Course ground prepared mustard

1 tbsp Hot sauce - gourmet style, not a thin sauce.

Heat up a skillet or fry pan to a medium high heat
Add water and chicken, allow chicken to cook till he water has boiled off, turing occasional.
When the water has evaporated, add the olive oil, garlic, and other spices (hot peppers to taste).
Brown the chicken breast evenly. Remove & set aside. Keep the sauteed spices aside as well.

Generously lather your bread with the mayonnaise, hot sauce & mustard and the sauteed spices. Toast lightly. (you could also add a bit of provolone or Munster cheese)

Assembly your sandwich & enjoy.

spanky's Maple Bacon Tacos Fried in Back Fat

2005-07-20T08:17:00.000-07:00

1 package corn tortillas

1 pound pork back fat, preferably Moviewhore's

1 bunch green leaf lettuce, torn into small pieces

1 package maple bacon

3 large ripe tomatos, cut into small cubes

1 bunch green onions, sliced thin

2 large avocados, cubed

1 12 ounce package shredded Monterey Jack cheese

Salsa, sour cream, jalapenos to garnish

Slowly melt back fat in saucepan until it melts. Over medium heat, fold tortillas in half and place in melted back fat; fry slowly until crisp; drain on paper towels. Place in warm oven to keep warm.

Fry maple bacon until crisp; drain. Crumble wll.

Serve tacos with all ingredients place in serving bowls, along with fresh salsa, sour cream, and jalapenos.

Silence of the Clam's Linguini with Clams

2005-07-20T08:11:00.000-07:00

Even FCers should be able to handle this one. As shellfish supposedly has aphrodisiac qualities, perhaps this will even help one of the resident sockfuckers get laid.

24 littleneck or cherrystone clams, live, well scrubbed

1/2 lb linguini

1/4 cup best extra vigin olive oil

2. cloves galic, peeled and finely chopped

2 T chopped fresh flat-leaf parsley

Salt

pinch red pepper flakes

water

1. In a large pot, bring 2 quarts of water to a rolling boil. Add rather more salt then you would when making pasta ordinarily, as the "sauce" contains no salt. (NOTE - do not add oil to the water).

2. In a small saucepan, on low heat, warm the olive oil and add the garlic and pinch red pepper flakes. Just keep it warm, do not cook the garlic.

3. In a large pot with a lid and steamer tray, bring 3/4 cup water to a boil. Add the live clams to the steamer tray and steam until they all open, about 5 to 7 minutes. Reserve both clams and water (which is now infused with clam juice).

4. While the clams are cooking, cook the linguini until barely al dente, then drain it.

5. Put the linguini back in the pasta pot over low heat and finish cooking it in the water from the clam pot.

6. Add the oil/garlic/red pepper mixture to linguini and toss. Add the cooked clams, and toss. Then add the parsley and toss again. Serve.

Serves 2-3

Geektoendallgeek's Underaged Asian Lamb Ribs

2005-07-20T08:09:00.000-07:00

4 Lamb spareribs, trimmed

1 teaspoon salt

1/2 teaspoon pepper

3/4 cup soy sauce

3/4 cup hoisin sauce

1/2 cup Mirin (a chinese wine), or sherry

2 tablespoons honey

2 tablespoons lime juice

2 teaspoons diced fresh gingerroot

2 teaspoons sesame oil

1 teaspoon 5-spice powder

Rub salt and pepper into ribs. In shallow glass pan, combine Oriental Marinade ingredients; reserve 1/2 cup for basting. Add ribs, turning to coat. Cover and refrigerate 4 to 6 hours. Place ribs on grid of broiler pan, discard marinade. Roast in 375 degrees F oven 40 minutes, basting every 15 minutes. To Grill: One hour before grilling, season ribs. Cook over medium-hot coals. Cover and grill 4 inches from coals for 50 to 60 minutes, turning every 10 minutes. Brush on glaze last 10 to 15 minutes of grilling. Enjoy that sweet underage taste!

usamabinladen's Ramadan Dastarkhan Feast

2005-07-19T08:43:00.008-07:00

A dastarkhan is an enormous feast that Muslims make for special occasions and celebrations.

In the name of Allah , Most Gracious, Most Merciful

Boolawnee (Fried Leek Pastries)*
Chatni Gashneez (Coriander Chutney)*
Samoos-i-Yirakot (Stuffed Vegetable Turnovers)
Osh Pyozee (Stuffed Onions)
Afghani Lamb with Spinach*
Kofta Nakhod (Meatballs and Chickpeas)
Sher Berinj (Rice Pudding)*
Gosh Feel (Pastries)

[*recipes follow]

1. Fried Leek Pastries
Serves 30

Pastry:
2 cup plain flour

1/2 tablespoons of Salt

2/3 cup cold water

Leek Filling:
2 Leeks (2 leeks = 3 cup chopped)

2 teaspoons salt

1/4 tablespoons of hot chili pepper

3 tablespoons of oil

Oil for deep frying

Sift flour and salt into a bowl, make a well in the centre and add water. Mix to a firm dough and knead for 5 minutes until elastic, dusting with more flour if necessary. Wrap in plastic film and leave to rest for 30 minutes.

Cut most of the green tops from leeks, halve lengthwise and rinse well to remove all traces of soil between leaves. Remove roots and dry leeks with paper towels. Place flat on board, cut along length at 5 mm (1/4 inch) intervals than across to dice. Measure in cup measure and place in bowl.

Add salt and chili pepper and knead with hand to soften leeks. Stir in oil.

Roll pieces of dough into balls the size of a large hazelnut and roll thinly into a 10 cm (4 inch) circle. Alternatively roll out dough and cut into 10 cm (4 inch) rounds. Place about 2 teaspoons leek filling in centre of circle, moisten pastry half way round edge of circle and fold pastry over filling. Press edge to seal well, and using the edge of a thimble, (the traditional method) or a coffee spoon make little crescent- shaped marks around the edge, or press with fork. Fry 3 or 4 at a time in hot oil until golden brown, turning to brown evenly. Drain on paper towels and serve hot or warm.

2. Coriander Chutney

1 cup of roughly chopped coriander leaves

2 garlic cloves

1 green chili

1/2 cup of coarsely chopped walnuts

1/4 cup lemon juice or vinegar

Salt

Pack chopped coriander leaves firmly into cup to measure. Peel garlic and chop roughly; slit chili, remove seeds and chop roughly.

Place prepared ingredients and walnuts in blender or food processor container and process until a textured paste is achieved, adding lemon juice or vinegar gradually while processing. Add salt to taste, place ina bowl and chill until required. Serve with kabaubs.

3. Afghani Lamb with Spinach

2 1/2 pound Lamb stew meat - preferably leg

1/3 cup olive oil

3/4 pound onions; diced large

4 Teaspoons chopped garlic

2 Teaspoon turmeric

1/4 Teaspoon nutmeg

1/4 Teaspoon ground cardamom

1 Teaspoonf crushed red pepper

1/2 Teaspoon cinnamon

32 oz can tomatoes; drain & chop

1 cup rich brown veal stock or beef stock

1/3 pound fresh spinach; washed & drained

1/2 cup yogurt

1 tablespoon of grated lemon peel

Salt; to taste

1/4 cup pine nuts (Roasted at 350 F. for about 3.5 minutes)

Sear lamb in the olive oil in a cast-iron skillet or Dutch oven. Add the onions; saute them for 2 minutes; then add the garlic and saute it for 1 minute. Put in the turmeric, nutmeg, cardamom, crushed red pepper and cinnamon and saute the mixture for 1 to 2 minutes more, being careful not to burn the onions or garlic. Add the tomatoes and veal stock and stir.

Cover the dish and bake at 350 F. for about 1 hour, until the meat is tender and begins to break up. Remove the dish from the oven and add the spinach, stirring until the spinach is wilted and blended in.

Allow the stew to cool slightly. Add the yogurt, lemon peel and salt to taste. Sprinkle with roasted pine nuts. Serve over rice pilaf.

4. Sher Berinj

1/4 pounds of rice

1 pint of milk

4 oz sugar

4 oz sultanas

Rose water or vanilla

Pistachio nuts

Wash the rice and spread it out on a flat board to dry. When completely dry, crush to a third of the size of the grain. Boil the milk and allow it to thicken, stirring constantly. When it is reduced to three-quarters of the original quantity, add the rice and cook for a few minutes. Add sugar and sultanas, and cook until you have a thick custard (10 to 15 minutes). Remove from heat and flavor to taste with rose water or vanilla. Sprinkle with pistachio nuts. Serve hot or cold.

Jango the Muss' Roasted Eggplant with Feta and Tzatziki Dip

2005-07-19T07:29:00.005-07:00

Roasted Eggplant & Feta

3 medium eggplant, unpeeled and cubed

1 1/2 cups extra virgin olive oil

1/4 cup fresh squeezed lemon juice

1/4 cup minced red onion

3 cloves garlic, minced

3 Tablespoons oregano

Coarse sea salt

Freshly cracked pepper

1 pound feta cheese, crumbled

1/2 cup ripe pitted Greek olives, pref. Kalamata or Alonso

2 bunches spinach, rinsed, dried and chilled

6 sprigs fresh oregano

Preheat oven to 400F. Place eggplant cubes in a shallow baking pan; toss with
3/4 cup olive oil, salt to taste, bake until cubes are soft but not mushy -about
30 minutes. Set aside to cool. Whisk together the remaining 3/4 cup olive
oil, lemon juice, onion, garlic, and oregano in a small bowl. Season to taste with salt and
pepper. Toss about half the dressing with eggplant. Arrange on a bed of spinach on a
large platter. Sprinkle with cheese and olives*, drizzle with remaining dressing and garnish
with fresh oregano sprigs.

Tzatziki

1 pt Plain Yogurt

1 Unpeeled cucumber, chopped fine

1 Clove garlic, crushed

1/2 c olive oil

Juice of 1/2 lemon

1 tsp salt

parsley

To the yogurt add the cucumber, garlic, olive oil, lemon juice, and salt.
Blend well with fork. Top with parsley. Refrigerate. Serve with pita bread
as first course or as a side dish during dinner.

perkmashin's Crimean Brochette of Sturgeon

2005-07-18T19:56:00.002-07:00

"Forward, the Light Brigade!"
Was there a man dismay'd?
Not tho' the soldier knew
Someone had blunder'd:
Their's not to make reply,
Their's not to reason why,
Their's but to do and die:
Into the valley of Death
Rode the six hundred.

2 sturgeon steaks, cut in 6 to 8 equal pieces

1 cup whipping cream

3 Tablespoons dry white wine

1 Tablespoon honey

1 Tablespoon coarse-grained mustard

2 lbs. white onion

3 Tablespoons unsalted butter

3/4 cup rice

1 teaspoon salt

1/3 teaspoon white pepper

1/3 cup whipping cream

2 Tablespoons unsalted butter

1. Preheat broiler. Place fish on metal skewers.
2. In a small saucepan over medium-high heat, reduce cream by half (watch carefully to prevent cream from boiling over). When reduced add wine, honey, and mustard. Mix well, simmer 1 minute, and remove from heat.
3. Brush sturgeon with sauce. Place fish on baking sheet and broil 2 to 3 minutes, turning once. Serve with remaining sauce on a bed of Onion and Rice Soubise. Onion and Rice Soubise (last eight ingredients): Peel and coarsely slice onions. Melt the 3 tablespoons butter in a saucepan, add onions, and cook for 5 to 7 minutes. Add rice, mix well, then add fumet, salt, and pepper. Cover and simmer 30 minutes. Puree the mixture in a food processor, adding cream and the 2 tablespoons butter. Reheat over low heat. Adjust seasonings and serve.

A brochette is usually served on a bed of rice.

HUSTLA NATION's Malt Liquor Batter Chicken Wings with a Vodka-Kool Aid Reduction, and Cheez Whiz® Saganaki

2005-07-18T10:58:00.005-07:00

Malt Liquor Batter Chicken Wings

4 c. flour

1/4 cup fresh cracked pepper

1/2 tsp. sea salt

Any brand of malt liquor, enough to make a medium thick batter. Colt 45 is preferable because it passed the Billy Dee Williams "how smooth are you" test; but Champale, Olde English and Mickey's Phat Mouth are fine.

Dip chicken wings or chicken drumettes in batter and deep fry till golden brown. Drain on paper towel. Dip into Vodka-Kool Aid Reduction sauce.

Vodka-Kool Aid Reduction

2 packages watermelon flavoured Kool-Aid® brand drink mix
1 quart Albertson's vodka

Combine Kool-Aid ® mix, 2 cups of water, and entire quart of vodka in a large pot. Stir until mixed well.
Cook on a very low flame, stirring frequently until mixture is thick and of the same consistency as molasses.

Cheez Whiz Saganaki

Pour 1 TBSP extra-virgin olive oil in a medium-sized cast iron skillet, tipping to coat skillet well.
Add 2 large jars of Cheez Whiz® processed cheese product.
Heat Cheez Whiz® very slowly over a low flame until crusty.
Serve sizzling in the cast iron pan, with a lemon wedge.

James Bail Bond's Perfect Vodka Martini

2005-07-18T09:47:00.000-07:00

From Ian Fleming's "Casino Royale", Chapter 7

"Just a moment. Three measures of Gordon's, one of vodka, half a measure of Kina Lillet. Shake it very well until it's ice-cold, then add a large thin slice of lemon-peel. Got it?"

Kina Lillet is a brand of vermouth.

A traditional martini (as opposed to a vodka martini) is made with gin, dry vermouth and either an olive or a lemon peel. Nothing else. (Well, they used to make them with extra-dry white wine rather than the dry-wine variant vermouth, but we shan't address that age-old argument here) And a proper martini is stirred, not shaken.

A vodka martini substitutes vodka for the gin (or adds it to the gin, as Bond does) and sometimes allows other ingredients.

There are three main differences between a martini (or a vodka martini) which has been stirred and one which has been shaken. First, a shaken martini is usually colder than one stirred, since the ice has had a chance to swish around the drink more. Second, shaking a martini dissolves air into the mix; this is the "bruising" of the gin you may have heard seasoned martini drinkers complain about--it makes a martini taste too "sharp." Third, a shaken martini will more completely dissolve the vermouth, giving a less oily mouth feel to the drink.

In a vodka martini, cold is key: a vodka martini that is not ice-cold tastes like lighter fluid. So you shake them. The experience of a traditional martini is more dependent on it being smooth and on not ruining the delicate flavors of the gin. Therefore, one stirs it. Simple enough, no?

MagBas' Magnificent Suffering Bastard and Classic Gulf Coast Hurricane

2005-07-18T07:44:00.001-07:00

Magnificent Bastard's Bastards

Classic Suffering Bastard: 1 part gin, 1 part rum, 1/2 part lime juice, dash o' bitters, 1 part ginger ale, over ice

Dangerous Dave's Bastard: 1 part light rum, 1 part gold rum, 1/2 part dark rum, 1/2 part orange curacao, 2 parts orange pineapple juice or maitai mix

Jeeves' Bastard:1 1/2 parts dark rum, 1 part light rum, 1/2 part creme de noyaux, 1/2 part triple sec, 1/2 part lime juice
V bastard: 4 oz. gin, 4 oz. vodka, 1/8 oz. lime juice

100 to Know Bastard: coat inside of glass with a soup spoon o' bitters, then 1 part gin, 3/4 part cognac, 1/4 part lime juice, teaspoonful of sugar syrup, finish with ginger beer

Cyberbastard: 1 oz. light rum, 1/2 oz. dark rum, 1/2 oz. brandy, teaspoon grenadine, teaspoon lime juice, top with orange juice

Booze King Bastard: 1 part lime juice, 4 parts ginger ale, dash o' bitters, 1 part bourbon, 1 part gin, garnish with pineapple wedge & maraschino cherry

Dying Bastard: 1 part brandy, 1 part gin, 1 part rum, 1 part ginger ale, 1/2 part lime juice, dash o' bitters

Dead Bastard: 1 part brandy, 1 part bourbon, 1 part gin, 1 part rum, 1 part ginger ale, 1/2 part lime, dash o' bitters

Magnificent Bastard's Gulf Coast Hurricane

Ingredients:
1 oz White rum
1 oz Jamaican Rum
1 oz Bacardi 151 proof rum
3 oz Orange juice with pulp
3 oz unsweetened Pineapple juice
1/2 oz Grenadine
Crushed Ice

Combine all ingredients, mix well (shake or stir). Pour over crushed ice in Hurricane glass. Best enjoyed through small straw. Garnish with fruit wedge if desired

King Mambo's Boston Badger Butt Mambo Rice Lasagna

2005-07-18T07:31:00.000-07:00

6 pounds lean rolled badger shoulders, cut like a Boston Butt or picnic ham.

Juice of 3 limes, or 1/2 cup lime juice

Juice of 1 1/2 oranges, or 1/2 cup orange juice

2 tablespoons crushed dried oregano

1 teaspoon ground cumin

12 cloves garlic, minced (about 6 tablespoons minced)

2 tablespoons salt

2 (15-ounce) cans black beans, undrained

2 tablespoons plus 1/4 cup vegetable oil

2 cups water

2 cups long-grain white rice

1 3/4 teaspoons ground black pepper

6 very ripe plantains (outside skin must be black)

1/2 cup olive oil

1 pint cherry tomatoes, washed and halved or quartered

1/3 cup finely chopped fresh parsley or cilantro

DAY 1:
Place the pork in a large resealable plastic food storage bag and set aside.

In a bowl, combine the lime juice, orange juice, oregano, cumin, and 3 tablespoons of the minced garlic and whisk to combine thoroughly.

Pour the juice mixture over the pork and seal the storage bag. Place in the refrigerator to marinate overnight, turning occasionally.

DAY 2:
The next morning, remove the pork from the refrigerator and allow it to return to room temperature while still in the bag before proceeding.

Position rack in center of oven and preheat the oven to 350ºF. Line a roasting pan with aluminum foil and place a roasting rack inside the roasting pan.

Remove the pork from the marinade and discard the marinade. Season the pork with 1 tablespoon of the salt and the pepper.

Place the pork on the rack, fat side up. Cover with aluminum foil and bake for 4 hours. Start preparing the rice and beans and plantains.

Using oven mitts or pot holders, remove the foil from the roast and continue to bake until roast is very tender and pulls apart easily with a fork, about 2 hours longer.

Using oven mitts or pot holders, remove the pork from the oven and set aside to cool.

When the pork is cool enough to handle, remove any excess fat from the meat with a fork and discard. Using two forks or your clean hands, shred the pork into bite-size pieces. Set aside in a medium clean bowl.

PREPARING THE RICE AND BEANS AND PLANTAINS:
While the pork is roasting, in a medium saucepan combine the canned, undrained black beans, 2 tablespoons of the vegetable oil, 2 teaspoons of the salt, and the water and bring to a boil over high heat.

Using a wooden spoon, stir in the rice and return to a boil. Cover the pan with a tight-fitting lid and reduce the heat to medium-low so that the rice just simmers. Cook until the rice is tender and has absorbed the cooking liquid, about 20 to 25 minutes.

Meanwhile, to peel the plantains—which do not peel like regular bananas, top to bottom—carefully run a sharp knife down the length of the plantain in several spots. Then you can simply peel away the skin by opening it side to side.

Slice the peeled plantains crosswise on a diagonal into 1/2-inch-thick slices.

In a large skillet, heat the remaining 1/4 cup of vegetable oil over medium-high heat and sauté the plantain slices, in batches if necessary, until golden brown on both sides, turning with tongs to ensure even browning, about 1 1/2 to 2 minutes on each side. Transfer to plates lined with paper towels to drain briefly, then set plantains aside until ready to assemble the casserole.

In a small saucepan or skillet, heat the 1/2 cup olive oil over low heat and add the remaining 3 tablespoons of minced garlic. Cook slowly until the garlic is softened and very aromatic but not browned, about 4 to 5 minutes. Set aside to cool.

ASSEMBLING THE LASAGNA:
Position rack in center of oven and preheat the oven to 350ºF.

When all of the elements are ready, spread half of the rice and bean mixture evenly along the bottom of a lasagna pan.

Top with the shredded pork, and season with 1/2 teaspoon salt. Top this with the fried plantains and season with the remaining 1/2 teaspoon of salt.

Place the remaining rice and bean mixture over the plantains and drizzle the reserved garlic oil mixture over the top. Cover with aluminum foil.

Using oven mitts or pot holders, place the lasagna in the oven until heated through, about 30 minutes.

Using oven mitts or pot holders, remove the lasagna from the oven and serve garnished with the cherry tomatoes and parsley.

darth's fucking Really Really Small Tibetan Goji Berry and Blueberry Peach Pie

2005-07-18T07:18:00.000-07:00

Crust:
1 and 1/4 cup all-purpose flour

2 tablespoons sugar or Stevia liquid extract - 20 drops

1/8 teaspoon of nutmeg

5 tablespoons butter, cut into 1-inch chunks

1 egg, beaten

1/2 teaspoon almond extract

1/2 cup finely chopped pecans Peach layer

3 cups peeled and sliced fresh peaches

2 tablespoons sugar or Stevia liquid extract - 20 drops

1 tablespoon lemon juice

1 teaspoon cornstarch

1 tablespoon butter BlueBerry layer

4 cups blueBerries

1/4 cup sugar or vegetable glycerin

1 tablespoon cornstarch

1 teaspoon lemon juice

dash ground cinnamon

1 tablespoon butter

GojiBerry layer: 4 cups Goji Berries - presoak twenty minutes in peach juice to soften (water will also work)

1/4 cup sugar or vegetable glycerin

1 tablespoon cornstarch

1 teaspoon lemon juice

dash ground cinnamon

1 tablespoon butter

Preparation: 1. To make the crust, place the flour and sugar or glycerin in a food processor. Process briefly to mix. Drop the chunks of butter into the feed tube with the motor running and process quickly until the mixture is crumbly. Add the egg, almond, and pecans and process until just combined. Do not overmix the crust.
2. Form the dough into a flattened ball and press it into the bottom and sides of a 12-inch tart pan with a removable bottom. Chill the crust for 30 minutes.
3. Preheat oven to 350°F.
4. Bake the crust for 15 to 20 minutes, or until slightly brown around the edge. Cool the crust on a wire rack.
5. To make the peach layer, mash the peaches together with the sugar/glycerin, lemon juice, and cornstarch in a medium saucepan and cook over medium heat for 5 minutes, or until the mixture thickens. Add the butter and stir until blended. Cool slightly and pour into the cooled crust.
6. To make the blueberry layer, mash 2 cups of the blueberries with the sugar/ glycerin, cornstarch, lemon juice, and cinnamon and cook in a large saucepan over medium heat for about 10 minutes, or until thickened and translucent. Stir in the butter and the remaining whole blueberries. Cover the peach layer with this blueberry mixture. Leave the tart in the pan and cover tightly with plastic wrap before putting into the pack.
7. To make the Goji Berry layer, mash 2 cups of the presoaked or blanched Goji Berries with the sugar or glycerin, cornstarch, lemon juice, and cinnamon and cook in a large saucepan over medium heat for about 10 minutes, or until thickened and translucent. Stir in the butter and the remaining whole Goji Berries. Cover the blueberry layer with this Goji Berry mixture. Leave the tart in the pan and cover tightly with plastic wrap before putting into the pack. Makes one 12-inch pie!

cupcakes sans frontier's Exotic Romantic Seppie Dinner for Two

2005-07-17T14:19:00.011-07:00

For when you want to pull out all the stops...impress...show some class. A true epicurean delight of the highest magnitude.

Although this menu is for two, it can be adapted upwards for weddings, state dinners, embassy functions,
Quinceanara parties, and the like.

Top tip: check expiration dates on all items to ensure you have the freshest of ingredients.

Beverages: Bud Lite, Arbor Mist White Zinfandel, Fat Boy Coke,Mountain Dew

Appetizer Course: Beer Nuts, Doritos, Chex Party Mix, Celery Sticks Spread with Kraft Cream Cheese, Lipton Onion Soup Dip,
Ritz Crackers Spread with Underwood Deviled Ham, Ruffles Potato Chips

Soup Course: Top Ramen Pork Flavored Oriental Noodle Soup Sprinkled with Dried Parsley

Salad Course: Iceberg Lettuce Cut in Wedges with Shredded Carrot and a Cherry Tomato, Hidden Valley Ranch Dressing

Main Course: Kraft Macaroni and Cheese (allow 4 boxes per person)
Campbell's Green Bean Casserole Topped with Canned French Fried Onions
Rice A Roni, Beef Flavor Sprinkled with Slivered Corn Nuts
Oh Boy Frozen Garlic Bread
Pillsbury Dinner Rolls
Ore Ida Tater Tots with Ketchup
Sweet Pickles

Dessert Course: Rice Krispie Treats
Betty Crocker Twice the Fudge Brownies
Carvel Fudgie the Whale Ice Cream Cake

Appertif: Gallo Cream Sherry

Trucker Boi Eats Crow (and Mushroom Stew)

2005-07-17T13:13:00.000-07:00

3 crows

1 Tbsp lard/shortening

1 pint stock or gravy

2 Tbsp cream

1/2 cup mushrooms

salt and pepper

cayenne pepper

Clean and cut crows into small portions and let them cook a short time in the lard/shortening in a saucepan, being careful not to brown them.
Next, add to the contents of the pan, the stock or gravy, and salt, pepper and cayenne to taste.
Simmer 1 hour, or until tender, add mushrooms, simmer 10 minutes more and then stir in cream.
Arrange the mushrooms around the crows on a hot platter.

Amanpreet's Curried Porch Monkey

2005-07-17T13:02:00.001-07:00

2 lbs. fresh monkey meat

Hot madras curry powder

Seasoning salt

Fresh cracked pepper

Dash brown sugar

1/4 c. vegetable oil

One large potato

2 c. chicken broth

1 med. bag garbanzo beans

1 med. onion

Dice potatoes; set aside in cold water.

Season cut up chicken.

In 1/4 cup vegetable oil add brown sugar, cook until dark brown; add onions and curry and season chicken.

Completely cover chicken with mixture. Add 2 cups chicken broth and simmer for 45 minutes to 1 hour. Add garbanzo beans. Drain water from potatoes and add to pot. Cook until potatoes are tender. Serve over boiled rice.

The Noble Pigs in Blankets

2005-07-17T11:24:00.000-07:00

12 chipolata sausages

12 slices streaky bacon

Wrap bacon slices around sausages and place in baking pan.
Roast at 350 degrees until bacon is brown and crispy.

Geektoendallgeek's Cherry Popperovers

2005-07-17T11:06:00.000-07:00

Serves 6.

1 c. flour

1/4 tsp. salt

1 c. milk

1 egg

1 cup cherries, pitted and sliced

confectioners' sugar to taste

Mix the flour, salt, and milk in a bowl, and then drop in the unbeaten egg. Beat all with a rotary egg beater until the mixture is perfectly smooth and free from lumps. Grease and warm gem irons or popover cups. Then fill them about two-thirds full of the popover batter. Bake in a moderate oven for about 45 minutes or until the popovers can be lifted from the cups and do not shrink when removed from the oven. Cut a slit in the side of the popovers as soon as they are removed from the oven and insert a spoonful of bing cherries sliced into halves. Dust with powdered sugar to the degree fitting your taste.

Slugs' Tasty Tempting and Tantalizing Slug Fritters

2005-07-16T11:43:00.000-07:00

10 freshly slaughtered slugs cleaned of all outer mucous

1/2 cup of cornmeal

1/2 cup of high protein flour

3 eggs

2 egg yolks

1/4 cup of heavy cream

4 tbs. Of butter

4 tsp.of sour cream

First chop the slugs into fine mince, then beat the eggs and egg yolks with the heavy cream together. Sift the dry ingredients and then cut 2 tbs of butter into that mixture. Add the egg and cream mixture to the dry ingredients and whip with a whisk vigorously for one to two minutes. Melt one tbs of butter in a sauté pan and pure the batter into 2 1/2 inch cakes in two batches. Serve warm with a dollop of sour cream.
Yields 4 servings.

Veritas' Harvard Beets in Moscow Red Sauce

2005-07-16T10:43:00.000-07:00

3 Tbsp cornstarch

1/3c sugar

3/4 tsp salt

1 1/2 c Beet liquid

2 Tbsp apple cider vinegar

1 1/2 Tbsp butter

3 cups beets, cooked or can, sliced

1/2 cup sliced onion

1/4 cup vodka

Mix cornstarch, sugar and salt; blend in beet liquid, vinegar, and butter.

Cook over moderate heat, stirring constantly, until thickened. Add beets and onion and vodka; let stand 10 minutes. Heat.

Kirkwood's Tet Offensive Tua Hu Sot Cha (Fried Bean Turd in Tomato Sauce)

2005-07-16T10:38:00.000-07:00

3 tablespoons vegetable oil

4 squares firm bean curd (about 13 oz or 400 g), dried with paper towel

sprigs of fresh coriander, to garnish

Sauce
1 teaspoon vegetable oil

1 teaspoon finely minced garlic

2 medium ripe tomatoes, skinned and diced (about 7 oz or 200 g)

1/4 cup (60 ml) water

4 teaspoons fish sauce

2 teaspoons light soy sauce

2 teaspoons sugar

2 teaspoons tomato paste

1/4 teaspoon freshly ground black pepper

Prepare the Sauce first by heating the oil in a medium saucepan. Add the garlic and stir-fry over medium heat until golden. Add the tomatoes and stir-fry until slightly softened, about 2 minutes, Add water, fish sauce, soy sauce, sugar, tomato paste, and pepper. Bring to the boil, lower heat, cover and simmer for 3 minutes. Remove from the heat but keep warm.

Heat the oil in a frying pan until very hot. Add the bean curd and fry until golden brown underneath, about 3 minutes. Turn and fry the other side, about 3 minutes. Drain on paper towel and transfer to a serving dish. Pour over the tomato sauce, garnish with coriander sprigs, and serve with steamed rice.

kckitty's Dry Rubbed BBQ Beef Ribs with Dripping, Gooey Wet Sauce

2005-07-16T10:20:00.000-07:00

2 large racks of beef ribs OR 3 large racks of baby back ribs

2 large Ziplock freezer storage bags

Dry Rub (yields 2 Cups but keep indefinitely)
1 C sugar
1/2 C paprika
1/4 C Kosher salt
1/4 C celery salt
3 tablespoons onion powder
3 tablespoons chili powder
2 tablespoons cumin
2 tablespoons black pepper
2 teaspoons dried mustard powder
1 teaspoon cayenne pepper

Classic Barbecue Sauce (yields about 4 cups)
1 teaspoon seasoned salt
1 teaspoon chili powder
1 teaspoon cumin
1 teaspoon mild curry powder
1 teaspoon paprika
1/2 teaspoon ground allspice
1/2 teaspoon ground cinnamon
1/2 teaspoon mace
1/2 teaspoon freshly ground black pepper
1/2 teaspoon cayenne pepper
2 C ketchup
3/4 C dark unsulphered molasses
1/2 C white wine vinegar
1 teaspoon Tabasco® sauce

Mix all dry rub ingredients together. Store in a covered jar.

In a large bowl, mix sauce dry ingredients together well. Add ketchup, molasses, vinegar and Tabasco®. Transfer mixture to a saucepan and heat over a medium flame until warm, stirring frequently. The idea is to make sure the dry ingredients melt into the sauce.

Buy your ribs and make your dry rub the day before you plan on cooking. To apply dry rub, sprinkle (rather than actually rub) the mixture on the meat - it should be moist enough so the rub sticks to the surface. A light coating is sufficient, but use as much as you like, as it tends to come off during handling and cooking. Seal your ribs in plastic bags and refrigerate overnight. You can also prepare your sauce that day and set it aside in the refrigerator.

If you are planning on barbecuing these ribs, set the temperature at roughly 250° F and cook the ribs with the lid closed. Adding some soaked mesquite or other hardwood chips is recommended, but not necessary. Cook the ribs for approximately 2 1/2 - 3 hours, or until the meat has shrunk back well from the bone. About 15 minutes before the ribs are done, add a generous coating of the barbecue sauce. Serve with the remaining sauce and ice cold beer.

sausage's Bacon Sanny In Freshly-Seasoned Pan

2005-07-16T09:59:00.000-07:00

Bacon Sanny

Several slices thick-cut bacon
2 slices of thick -sliced white bread
HP Brown Sauce
butter (optional, for a Bacon Butty)

Fry bacon in your newly seasoned pan, and drain on a paper towel. Spread HP sauce on inside of bread. Arrange the bacon
to make a sandwich. Place sandwich in pan and brown on low heat until all the bacon juices are soaked up.

To Season a Pan:

Cookware made of cast iron, cast aluminum and steel are customarily seasoned.

The process of seasoning fills the porous cooking surface with carbonized oil. The seasoning forms a protective barrier against oxidation (which would otherwise cause pitting and/or rust), and it helps to keep food from sticking to the surface.

Wash That New Pan

-     Scrub your new pan in hot, soapy water to remove packing oils, then rinse well and towel dry. Put it over a heat source for thorough drying, then let it cool before seasoning it.
-     We do not recommend washing pots and pans in the dishwasher; iron and steel would rust in it, and some finishes can get marred from the harsh detergents.

What Oil to Use

-     We recommend Peanut Oil, because it has a very high smoking point.
-     We do not recommend using butter, olive and other oils that will smoke at low temperatures. If you want to be traditional about it, you can use lard.

The Stovetop Method

-     Pour a bit of vegetable oil into the pan and spread with your fingers over the inside surface up to the rim.
-     Put the pan over moderate heat and remove when the oil begins to smoke.
-     Then let the pan cool completely.
-     With a clean cloth or paper towel, wipe off any excess oil and your pan is now ready to use.

The Oven Method

-     Pour a bit of vegetable oil into the pan and spread with your fingers over the inside surface up to the rim.
-     Put the oiled pan in a 300-350oF oven for about an hour.
-     Remove from the oven and let cool.
-     Then wipe off excess oil and your pan is ready to use.

The Clean Up

-     After each use, clean your pan with very hot water and a scrubbing brush, then dry. Remember that you can speed thorough drying by putting the pan over a heat source.
-     By the way, if you must use soap, you will need to re-season the pan after washing it. And if the steel or iron pan ever rusts (aluminum doesn’t rust), just sand out the rust, wash thoroughly and re-season to make it like brand new.
-     Keep your seasoned pans out of the dishwasher. The harsh detergents will remove the seasoning, undoing all that great work that just went into making your new pan last forever.

Storing

-     If you don't use steel and cast iron pans very often, spread a light coating of oil on the inside surface of the pan before storing it.
-     When steel and iron pans are to be out of use for a long time, oil heavily and store in a plastic bag to keep from rusting.
-     Cast aluminum pans don't need coating, because they can't rust. They can be stored without additional care.

chef's Perfect Pasta With Final Answer to Oil and Salt Question

2005-07-16T08:28:00.000-07:00

1. Start with good imported dried pasta.

2. Make sure you use ample water--6 quarts for up to 1 pound of pasta. Cover the pot so the water comes to a boil quickly.

3. Salt the water just before adding pasta; use about 3 1/2 tablespoons of sea salt for 6 quarts of water. Water that tastes slightly salty will enhance the flavor of the pasta.

4. To prevent the pasta from sticking together, stir it frequently during cooking. Never add oil to the water.

5. Use spring-loaded tongs for stirring pasta in boiling water and in sauces, as well as for serving.

6. Reserve some of the cooking water before you drain the pasta. If a sauce is too thick, a little pasta water will lighten it; if a sauce is too thin, add pasta water and then reduce it. The starch will thicken the sauce.

7. Never rinse pasta. The starch that clings to the strands is important to the taste and texture.

8. If you are adding pasta to a sauce, undercook it by a minute or two so it can simmer in the sauce and absorb some of its flavor.

9. Serve pasta the moment it's done--it never gets better. To keep it steaming, heat your serving bowls; thick china will hold the heat best.

10. Always use top-quality ingredients. For canned tomato products, Muir Glen brand is best.

"What Really Happened To ShyAnne's Dog" Stew

2005-07-16T07:36:00.000-07:00

Stewed Dog (wedding style)

6 pounds dog meat

1 1/2 cups vinegar

3 Tbsp crushed peppercorns

6 Tbsp salt

12 cloves garlic - crushed

1/2 cup olive oil

6 cups onion - sliced

3 cups tomato sauce

10 cups boiling water

6 cups red pepper -cut into strips

6 pieces bay leaf

1 teaspoon tabasco sauce

1 1/2 cups liver spread

1 wholefresh pineapple - cut 1/2 inch thick

1. First, kill a medium sized dog, then burn off the fur over a hot fire.
2. Carefully remove the skin while still warm and set aside for later (may be
used in other recpies)
3. Cut meat into 1" cubes. Marinade meat in mixture of vinegar,
peppercorn, salt and garlic for 2 hours.
4. Fry meat in oil using a large wok over an open fire, then add onions and
chopped pineapple and saute until tender.
5. Pour in tomato sauce and boiling water, add green peper, bay leaf and
tobasco.
6. Cover and simmer over warm coals until meat is tender. Blend in liver spread
and cook for additional 5-7 minutes.

Komrade all3's Dialectical Steak and Banana Omelette

2005-07-16T06:05:00.000-07:00

I have formulated a dish capable of trashing the excesses of wealth with it's sheer innovation and lack of respect for class barriers. This Steak n' Banana Omelette has been designed to shock the bourgeoisie into joining the working class movement. 'Tis the taste of organised revolution.

Cooking oil

4 ounces of steak, diced

half an onion, diced

1 tomato, sliced

1 banana, sliced

3 eggs, lightly whisked

4 ounces of cheese, grated

Lightly fry the steak on a low heat in a little oil. Add the onion and tomato and cook together for ten minutes.
Add the banana and cook for another five minutes.
Remove the food from the pan, add more oil (think: the end justifies the means) and the eggs.
As the eggs begin to bubble spread the cooked food over them. Sprinkle the cheese on top.
Fold the omelette over and serve.

Truly food on the edge of the socialist spine - dispels the guilt of eating capitalist products whilst acting as revolutionary chow itself! Serve to a banker and watch his world fall apart!

puds BLT soo-preme

2005-07-15T19:36:00.002-07:00

8 thick-cut bacon slices

8 slices country-style sourdough bread or batard (cut on deep diagonal into 5x3x1/2-inch slices)
2 cups (packed) grated extra-sharp cheddar cheese (about 8 ounces)
8 tomato slices, seeds removed, slices drained on paper towels
4 tablespoons mayonnaise

Cook bacon in heavy large skillet over medium heat until brown and crisp, turning occasionally, about 6 minutes. Transfer bacon to paper towels and drain. Wash and dry skillet.

Place 4 bread slices on work surface. Press 1/4 cup grated cheese onto each slice. Top each with 2 tomato slices. Sprinkle with pepper. Place 2 bacon slices atop each, breaking into pieces if necessary to fit. Press 1/4 cup grated cheese over bacon on each. Top sandwiches with remaining bread slices, then spread 1/2 tablespoon mayonnaise over top of each sandwich. Heat 2 heavy large skillets over medium heat. Add 2 sandwiches, mayonnaise side down, to each skillet. Place plate atop both sandwiches to weigh down. Cook sandwiches until bottom is golden brown, about 2 minutes. Spread top of each sandwich with 1/2 tablespoon mayonnaise. Turn sandwiches over, mayonnaise side down. Top with plates and cook until golden brown on bottom, about 2 minutes. Transfer sandwiches to work surface. Cut sandwiches crosswise in half and serve.

ANR's Lapin a la Cocotte-Bunny Stew

2005-07-15T19:01:00.000-07:00

Lapin a La Cocotte - French Rabbit Stew #114799

1 (2 1/2lb) rabbit, quartered

3slices bacon, cut in thirds

1 1/2cups sliced onions

2 garlic cloves, minced

3 tablespoons flour

1 cup beef broth

1/4 cup red wine

1 teaspoon dried thyme

2 teaspoons parsley

2 bay leaves

salt and pepper

In a large skillet or medium-sized Dutch oven, cook bacon until done; remove bacon with a slotted spoon and reserve for another use (for a salad, etc).

In the bacon drippings, cook the onion and garlic until transparent. A.

dd the rabbit pieces and saute over medium heat until rabbit is golden.

Sprinkle on the flour and continue to brown rabbit for another 5 minutes or so, then add the beef broth, red wine, thyme, parsley and bay leaves.

Cover and simmer over low heat for about an hour, adding more broth if necessary. Salt and pepper to taste (with the bacon drippings, not much salt is needed). Serve with mashed potatoes or buttered egg noodles.

Captain WTF's "Has ANYONE here ever cooked their own Thanksgiving turkey? HOW? turkey recipe

2005-07-15T18:39:00.000-07:00

One free range turkey
1 stick butter
2 TBSP Williams-Sonoma turkey herbs
2 oranges
Sea salt
Freshly cracked pepper

Thaw it -remove all the giblets.
Let it stand at room temp for an hour or so.
Preheat oven to 400 F.

In a bowl, beat together 1 stick butter, 2 TBSP turkey herbs (or
poultry seasoning), grated zest of 2 oranges (finely grated), 2 tsp salt, and 1 tsp fresh ground pepper.

Rinse turkey inside and out with cold water and pat dry with paper towels Trim off and discard excess fat.

Gently slide your fingers under the breast to loosen the skin and work your fingers down to the thigh, being careful not to tear the skin. Spread 1/3 of the butter mixture evenly under the skin. Spread 1/3 of the mixture inside the body cavity. Spread the remaining mixture evenly over the outside.

Place turkey, breast side up, on rack in large roasting pan. Stuff turkey, then place in oven and roast for 45 at 400 F. Reduce to 325 and continue roasting, basting every 30 minutes with the pan juices.

After about 2 1/2 hours, insder a meat thermometer into the breast- it should register 165 and the thigh 175. Tent breast with foil if it begins to brown too quickly.

Cornbread dressing

2 packages Pepperidge Farm cornbread stuffing mix
2 boxes Uncle Ben's Wild Rice mix
2 packages mushrooms
1 8 oz package pecans
1 cup melted butter
zinfandel

Cook wild rice mix as instructed. Slice and sautee mushrooms in 1 stick butter. Mix into stuffing mix in large bowl; add melted butter and about 1/2 cup zinfandel.

Agnot's Chickenhawk Noodle Soup

2005-07-15T17:21:00.000-07:00

2 chicken breasts, or a few pieces of leftover roasted chicken

2 stalks celery, cut into slices

2 large carrots, cut into slices

2 cups vegetable broth

1/2 cup chopped cilanto

1 tsp sea salt

1 TBSP freshly cracked pepper

3 ounces curry udon noodles (try Trader Joe's)

Simmer chicken in some water until the meat falls off bone; cool and remove meat, tossing out the skin and bones.
Simmer the carrots and celery in the vegetable broth until al dente. Add chicken, salt and pepper, and 2 cups additional water. Toss in the udon noodles and cook soup until the noodles are tender. Stir in the cilantro and leave covered for a few minutes.

Willow's Cream In Da Panties

2005-07-15T17:07:00.000-07:00

1/2 oz Frangelico

1/2 oz Bailey's irish cream

1/4 oz Creme de Cacao

1/4 oz Amaretto

1 splash Cream

Mixing Instruction
Pour all ingredients into a shaker half filled with ice, shake and then strain into shotglass

Moviewhore's Homemade Jack Mackerel Cat Food

2005-07-15T16:58:00.000-07:00

MACKEREL DINNER

Heat 1 tsp. corn oil in a skillet and fry 1 small mackerel until it flakes apart easily. Remove and cool. Pour 1/2 cup hot water into the pan and scrape the brown bits into it. Remove the bones from the fish and mix with the juice. For dogs, serve in pieces with kibble; for cats, grind with the pan juices.

Don Arson's Hardtack and Army Beans

2005-07-15T16:49:00.000-07:00

Hardtack:

4 cups non-enriched flour (NOT self-rising!)
2/3 cup lard or shortening*
2 cups water, divided into one cup portions
1 tablespoon salt

    Put 2 cups flour and all of the shortening in a bowl and mix together. Add remaining flour and mix well. Add 1 cup water, with salt dissolved in it, to bowl and mix thoroughly. SLOWLY add as much of the remaining water as needed to make a firm, but wet, dough.
    Let the dough rest at least one hour in the refrigerator, then roll out on a well-floured board to ¼ -inch thickness. Cut into pieces about 2-1/2” by 4 “. Put 4 to 6 holes into each cracker.
    Bake in a 275?F oven for one and a half to two hours. Hardtack should be dry, but not browned. If the hardtack is browning on the bottom, try placing a pan of water in a lower rack or lower the temperature to 250?F and cook for an additional 45 minutes to an hour.
* Crisco makes a butter-flavored shortening if you can’t stand the plain taste of traditional Army bread.

Army Beans:

2 pounds of white beans
½ pound side meat or dried beef
salt

    Pick through the beans for stones, vermin, and other items unfit for human consumption. To make the surviving mass unfit for human consumption, soak the beans about two hours. Skim off any “floaters” and pour out the old water. In a large pot, put in the beans and add enough water to cover all by about two inches or so. Cut the side meat or dried beef, and add the meat to the pot. Bring to vigorous boil, stirring frequently, for about twenty minutes. Reduce to a simmer, and cover the pot. After one hour, check the mess in the bottom of the pot, and add enough water to make the whole thing a watery obscenity to the culinary arts. Add salt, so as to annoy the hungry recipients even further. Any leftover salt should be offered to the soldiers as a final insult. Cook should not be in camp during mealtime. Do not feed to prisoners. They have suffered enough already. Serve with hardtack.

Bssiesmith's Cucumber Tuna Salad

2005-07-15T10:49:00.000-07:00

1 lg Red bell pepper

3 1/4 oz Chunk light tuna
- packed in water or oil,
- drained & slightly mashed

1/2 c Canned garbanzo beans
- drained

1 2-in piece of cucumber
cut into fine dice

3 tb Dried currants

2 tb Slivered almonds
- lightly toasted

2 Scallions; thinly sliced

4 tb Plain low-fat yogurt

1 ts Curry powder

1/2 ts Ground ginger

CUT OFF THE TOP of the red pepper about one-third of the way down.
Remove the seeds and membranes from both the top and bottom, and the stem from the top.
Finely dice the top and put it in a medium-size bowl.
Add the tuna, garbanzo beans, cucumber, currants, almonds and scallions to the bowl, and toss gently.
Combine the yogurt with the curry and ginger, and mix it with the tuna salad.
Spoon the tuna back into the red pepper before serving.